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Intoxicated Hookup Failures

My girlfriend hid a second time, but thankfully I was dressed by then. I tried my best to ask her out, but my lack of intestinal fortitude wouldn't allow it. There were several parties to choose from, at least one on every floor.

It was a typical Friday night in residence. As the shoes came down the stairs, I realized with horror that it was NOT one of the other kids, but Kaitlyn's mom.

Intoxicated Hookup Failures - Instead, I stayed in the room and took a few more shots.

We've all had them. Welcome to the Inebriated Hookup Failure thread, where blades are invited to share their tales of hooking up under the influence gone terribly wrong. Stupefaction or excitement by the action of a chemical substance. Drunk or high, it doesn't matter. Cockblocked at a party by a friend? Cockblocked by your own inebriation? Share your stories here. I'm the OP so I will go first with one of my own. I am an incredibly socially awkward lesbian, so naturally I have many tales of failure. However, I would like to share a time where I almost succeeded. It was a typical Friday night in residence. There were several parties to choose from, at least one on every floor. There was one going on in the suite just above mine, but I chose to go to a friend's instead. The turnout wasn't too bad, around 15 people which is the size I preferred for Residence parties. Any more than 15 would have been too crowded. My friend's roommate had a few friends over from another college, and I received a huge gay vibe from one of them. We chatted for a bit and then she went to walk to a gas station to buy more mix. Looking back, if I had just gone with her then, my night probably would have been a success. Instead, I stayed in the room and took a few more shots. Well, maybe a lot more, plus a few bong rips. Before she returned I confirmed with the people she came with that she was bisexual. When she returned, I was far more drunk than she was. Remarkably, she really warmed up to my probably horrible game. A bunch of people left so she suggested going to look for other parties, and we left. In the elevator she asked if my roommate was around. She said we should just go to my room. I love assertive girls! So we head to my room, with me spitting my painfully awkward game the whole way there. It begins as soon as the door is closed: shirts off and tossed in the kitchen on the way to my bedroom. The party upstairs is still going. After a few minutes of drunk groping, I start to go down on her. I can't believe I haven't blown this. This girl practically fell into my lap and I couldn't deliver because I was drunk and caught off guard by Tunak Tunak Tun. I remember a party I was at about a month ago I was talking to this one girl. Not too attractive, but just on the right side of bangable, and it was a sure thing. The problem was, she had a much hotter friend that in my drunken state I decided to go after. I get a ride with those 2 chicks and their 2 friends. I actually managed to get the hotter girl back to my place to smoke a bowl, but her friend inadvertently cock-blocks me. The worst part about it, dude that cockblocked me was a ginger. I don't know why, but that was like adding salt to the wound. The sure thing was really not good looking at all, she just had massive titties, like among the biggest I've ever seen in real life. I was like 8 or 9 shots deep and about 4 bowls in and she still wasn't looking that great. I'm more of an ass man anyway so I decided to take the gamble. I'm the OP so I will go first with one of my own. I am an incredibly socially awkward lesbian, so naturally I have many tales of failure. However, I would like to share a time where I almost succeeded. It was a typical Friday night in residence. There were several parties to choose from, at least one on every floor. There was one going on in the suite just above mine, but I chose to go to a friend's instead. The turnout wasn't too bad, around 15 people which is the size I preferred for Residence parties. Any more than 15 would have been too crowded. My friend's roommate had a few friends over from another college, and I received a huge gay vibe from one of them. We chatted for a bit and then she went to walk to a gas station to buy more mix. Looking back, if I had just gone with her then, my night probably would have been a success. Instead, I stayed in the room and took a few more shots. Well, maybe a lot more, plus a few bong rips. Before she returned I confirmed with the people she came with that she was bisexual. When she returned, I was far more drunk than she was. Remarkably, she really warmed up to my probably horrible game. A bunch of people left so she suggested going to look for other parties, and we left. In the elevator she asked if my roommate was around. She said we should just go to my room. I love assertive girls! So we head to my room, with me spitting my painfully awkward game the whole way there. It begins as soon as the door is closed: shirts off and tossed in the kitchen on the way to my bedroom. The party upstairs is still going. After a few minutes of drunk groping, I start to go down on her. I can't believe I haven't blown this. Then, THIS starts playing from upstairs: I snort into her vagina and slide off the bed laughing. This girl practically fell into my lap and I couldn't deliver because I was drunk and caught off guard by Tunak Tunak Tun. Not really a hookup failure for me, just an overall fail. This occurred when I was a junior in high school and we were camping with friends. Drinking, smoking, and having a great time as usual. I wandered off with a friend and hooked up in the back of my car at the time I had a large van so there was plenty of room. That was all good but he had a bit of trouble fitting into the condom but that all worked out. Anyways being drunk and high I thought it was best not to lock my car afterwards since I was afraid I might misplace my keys and not be able to get in my car when I needed to. Later that night I realized another one of my friends and his nasty girlfriend now ex had disappeared. Turned out they went and fucked in my car. I can only imagine his sweaty fat ass all over my car and I don't even want to think about his nasty girlfriend naked all over my car. Oh and while cleaning the guy found a pizza box with a used condom inside it.. Wtf were they doing in there? Not really a hookup failure for me, just an overall fail. This occurred when I was a junior in high school and we were camping with friends. Drinking, smoking, and having a great time as usual. I wandered off with a friend and hooked up in the back of my car at the time I had a large van so there was plenty of room. That was all good but he had a bit of trouble fitting into the condom but that all worked out. Anyways being drunk and high I thought it was best not to lock my car afterwards since I was afraid I might misplace my keys and not be able to get in my car when I needed to. Later that night I realized another one of my friends and his nasty girlfriend now ex had disappeared. Turned out they went and fucked in my car. I can only imagine his sweaty fat ass all over my car and I don't even want to think about his nasty girlfriend naked all over my car. Oh and while cleaning the guy found a pizza box with a used condom inside it.. Wtf were they doing in there? Another one from the OP: I am on a medication that causes my mouth to always be dry. Because of this and my overactive gag reflex, making out is rather unpleasant for me. The other person's tongue feels sooooo slimy and gross and then I gag. Drinking a lot tends to make me vomit. You can guess where this is going. This girl surprise made out with me and as soon as her slimy tongue made contact with mine I gagged and vomit came up. I puked in her mouth a little. This obviously blew my chances and on top of that I felt really bad. Fuck I hate making out.